When reflecting on the value of counselling, a quote from Abraham Maslow, one of the pioneers of Humanistic Psychology, often springs to mind. In the 1950's he observed that "One can choose to go back towards safety, or forward towards growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again".
When embarking on working with a client, I will ask why have they chosen now to start therapy? In my experience, if a client has reached out for support because they have been told to, then the process will most likely be short lived. There is a sense of being obliged to start, and this is disempowering. Eventually the client will retreat back to the safety of what they are familiar with, even though that is causing difficulty and any growth will be minimal. If however, a client has decided that the time is right and they have chosen to address what is causing them difficulty by reaching out for support, then we start the process from an empowered place. The client has chosen to find their agency, and a way through their difficulties. This will allow for more growth through the commitment to the process that will facilitate this.
It is a big step, sometimes huge, for someone to reach out to me for support and I hold this responsibility with the utmost care. Bringing difficult thoughts, feelings, emotions, experiences and behaviours to full present awareness is hard work, and when growth becomes a possibility fear is often there waiting too. Fear of what change may bring, a new way of feeling, thinking and living. Whilst heading towards a brighter future, this can bring with it fear of the unknown and how life will be after change.
Stepping out of our comfort zone can be challenging, but that is very often where the growth is. Finding the right therapist who will be alongside you on this path, and hold the space for you to sit with, and work through discomfort, with compassion, non judgement and no agenda is life changing. Being committed to counselling sessions, and for the time to be right to start, are some of the key factors in the process of change.
Matt Harris - May 2024